The Mutt
by thegoodgirldoll
Summary: She didn't consider her decision stupid; she loved Remus and it was their last year...His child growing inside of her was the biggest blessing they could have ever recieved. She would do anything for their child: Including risk her own life.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Thank-you, Thoughts Like Raindrops, for this challenge on the forums. I partook of the Pregnancy is Complicated challenge, and I have a story I hope you will all love (: Please read and review! **

**Blessings,**

**Sarah**

"One more word, and you will _never _see daylight again, Malfoy." Lily scowled, pushing the tip of her wand further into Lucius's pale neck.

"Oh shush," he spat, shoving her arm away from him and stalking off.

Lily shook her head in annoyance, her red curls hitting her cheeks. She moved them out of her face quickly, annoyed that they were already becoming flat after she spent _so _much time curling them for and her and Remus's anniversary. They had been together one year today, and she had wanted to do something special. Since she had to wear a Hogwarts uniform, though, and they couldn't be out too late seeing as NEWT'S were coming up, she figured the only thing _'special' _she could do for him, was her hair. Usually, it was a plain waterfall of red and pin straight. Only sometimes did she pull a little back with a flower. But today, she had curled it just like Remus had always asked her to- and it had fallen. She groaned out in frustration and walked back towards the castle, away from the grounds surrounding Hagrid's hut.

"This is what I get for trying to be _girly _like Petunia!" She huffed, scaling the stone steps and watching ahead of her as she walked under the long awning towards the castle.

In a moment's time, she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist from behind and she yelled out in fear before someone clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Lily, hush up, you're going to wake the dead!" Remus laughed, releasing his hold on her as she clutched a hand to her chest.

"_Remus!_ God, Remus, you git! Since when did you get off sneaking up behind me?"

"Well since _somebody _is so upset I don't think I will be getting off easily!"

Lily rolled her eyes as he quirked an eyebrow at her.

"What's wrong, love?" He asked quietly, coming to sit beside her as she slid to the floor.

"You don't see anything wrong?" She asked sarcastically, staring at him.

"No," he spoke softly, moving a stray curl out of her eyes. "I see you curled your hair, though. I love it."

Lily grinned widely. "Leave it to you."

"What?" He asked, surprised and for a moment thinking he had said something wrong.

"You always make my bloody terrible days _wonderful. _How?"

Remus blushed and pulled her close to him. She rested her head in his lap as he ran his fingers through her hair. They were so small compared to the whole expanse of the awning, and as the sun began to set no one noticed the two love birds sitting there.

"I try my hardest, but I find it isn't as hard as I make it out to be to make you smile, Lily Evans."

"It isn't," she agreed.

"So what was Lucius saying this time? I saw you just as he pushed your hand away."

"Where were you that you saw?" Lily asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I was with Hagrid; helping with the spiders. It's not the point- what did that sod say this time? I'll kill him, Lily. I told you I would."

"I know you would, Remus, but I prefer you _here _and not Azkaban. You're a Seventh Year; of age! You'd be in for life and then where would be as a couple?"

"Lily," he soothed, chuckling. "Calm down. What did he say?"

"He was making fun of my bloody name again. Lily Lupin _would _be quite a riot, but I don't want _him _mocking it. Our friends are a different story."

Remus laughed. "If you'd prefer to keep Evans when we marry so be it."

"I'd never not take your name, Remus," Lily whispered, staring off into the horizon.

The moon hung loosely against the sky; only a half.

"I'm glad we got to celebrate our one year anniversary without the moon being full," Lily commented, knowing how ruddy it felt missing anniversaries with Remus because he was transforming in the Shrieking Shack.

Remus squeezed her tightly at that statement, holding her as close to him as possible. He nuzzled his head against her neck, kissing her vulnerable skin.

"Don't go sappy on me, Remus. I didn't mean it bothers me you know."

"I know, Lily," he said quietly, kissing her neck once more.

"Happy Anniversary," she said quietly, holding a fistful of his robe in her clenched hand.

"Happy Anniversary," he replied as he stopped kissing her. "I have something I'd like to show you, Lily."

"Then show me," she replied, allowing him to help her up and following him back to the castle.

It didn't take long for them to make it back to castle, as both of them were anxious to pick up where they had just left off. Remus led her to the Room of Requirement, and asked her to close her eyes as a doorway appeared. She took his hand and he pulled her inside before telling her to open her eyes. She did so and saw the dinner on the table, the rose petals…The bed.

"Remus, this is so beautiful,"

"You told me you wanted it to be memorable," he whispered into her ear, reminding her.

She turned around then and kissed him full on the mouth. He pushed her gently onto the bed and tangled his finger in her curls once more.

**Author's Note: I looked up who would be in the Marauder's Era at school with them. As far as I can trace I would assume that it was Dumbledore as HeadMaster, Hagrid as Game Keeper, and of course McGonagall was there. I noticed as well that in my other Lily/Remus story I use Dippet..This is inaccurate I believe now, since he was HeadMaster for Molly and Arthur..Sorry for confusion! Oh, and Lucius is in his 5****th**** or 6****th**** year- they aren't too clear on that anywhere. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews so far! Please continue to R&R!**

**Blessings,**

**Sarah. **

"Alice, do I look like I'm gaining weight?" Lily asked curiously as she appraised her reflection in the mirror.

Alice furrowed her eyebrows and glanced up from her magazine.

"Maybe a little."

"But I was still 120 pounds even lastnight. How did I gain this much already?"

Alice sniggered. "Oh, _please. _You and Remus haven't even been done with the dirty deed for twelve hours and not only do you think you're pregnant, but you think you're showing already?"

"Shh, keep it down!" Lily warned, not wishing for any of the other girls to overhear this discussion.

"Whatever," Alice rolled her eyes. "I just think you're being ridiculous. It's probably the big dinners you've been eating lately. Weight sort of creeps up on you, doesn't it?"

Lily sighed, covering her stomach with her shirt once more and grabbing her duffle-bag. "Yeah, I guess."

"If you're that worried about it go to Madame Pomfrey for that metabolism potion. I was concerned about gaining too much weight to be on the Quidditch team and she handed that sucker right over. I haven't gone above 125 pounds since."

"Yes, but I'm not on the Quidditch team," Lily scowled.

"You can still get the potion. You know Madame Pomfrey has always been a good looking woman; I'm sure she'd be glad to help you if you want to stay fit. It's healthy, isn't it? To want to stay slender."

Lily shrugged. "I guess. Well, I better go find Remus early if I don't want to be late for class."

"I don't know why you too are taking such early morning classes, anyway," Alice commented off-handedly.

"Well, you know what the muggles say, 'early bird gets the worm'," Lily responded with a smirk.

"No," Alice looked up at her. "That's what your _father _says. Still, I don't see the beneficial value. You and Remus both have top scores for our year anyway."

"It helps to have so much experience. It doesn't bother Remus or I any. We like it."

"Whatever you say," Alice replied, turning back to her magazine once and for all.

Lily muttered goodbye before exiting the dormitory and leaving through the portrait hole in the Common Room. She walked down the halls quickly, ignoring the naseua in her stomach and pushing it off to just being hungry. She never went to the Great Hall for breakfast since her classes were so early, but somehow Remus snagged her a biscuit fully buttered every day. she'd have to remind him to lay off the carbohydrates if she was going to be serious about this diet. It was peculiar to Lily, really, though, seeing as she had never struggled with her weight before. Maybe she was just getting older and her metabolism was slowing like Alice mentioned. She made a mental note to go check in with Madame Pomfrey later, just to be sure.

She caught up with Remust just outside Care of Magical Creatures class where Hagrid would be teaching her privately once their good-morning meet was over. Remus pulled her in for a tight hug before handing her the above mentioned biscuit.

"Good morning, Miss Evans. How did you sleep?"

"Fine, Rem. You?"

He simply nodded to let her know he slept well and took her hand as he led her down near the lake.

"Did you have a good night last-night?" Remus asked anxiously, eager to know what she had thought of their anniversary.

"I had the best time, Remus," she said sincerely, looking into his eyes. "Our first year was so memorable. Thank you." She squeezed his hand gently and he squeezed back tighter, beckoning her to come sit beside him against a large tree trunk.

"I love you, Lily," Remus said softly, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand.

"I love you too, Remus," Lily replied equally as quiet, resting her head against his shoulder.

They sat there in silence for awhile, looking out onto the lake. Lily loved watching the water and Remus loved listening to the birds chirping early in the morning. This had become their routine for the four years. They hadn't always been so affectionate, since they were strictly friends for two of those four years, but it slowly inched towards a relationship and last year they had finally made it official to their friends. But telling Sirius was like speaking into a megaphone, and soon after the whole school new. They were constantly reminded how adorable they were, and how it was 'about time' they had gotten together. They only laughed at these comments, not knowing that people paid such close attention to them. They liked being alone, spending their time talking together a reading. Sometimes, Lily was a bit more outgoing then Remus, and surely had more of a spitfire attitude, but they got along well when they stayed to themselves and it was calming.

"Can I ask you something, Remus?" Lily asked curiously, breaking the silence.

"Of course you can," Remus replied as she moved to sit in his lap and he rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Do I seem to be getting fatter to you?"

"Not at all," he replied immediately; robotically.

Lily laughed and sat up. "No, _really, _Remus. Be honest."

With that, Lily stood so he could appraise her features. These were the times he hated that Lily and him were bestfriends as well as lovers. He had to be honest with these girly subjects.

"Well, maybe you've gained a bit in your stomach area, but not a lot, really, I probably only notice because my eyes never leave your body all day. I'm attentive to your features," he blushed.

Lily smiled and sat back down with him. "Thank you," she replied simply, glad that he was being honest with her.

She had indeed gained weight; weight like she never had before.

She would definitely be making a trip to the Hospital Wing after her classes were done for the day.

**Author's Note: This is written for a challenge. No, I am not crazy. Yes, there is a reason Lily is gaining weight rather quickly. Keep reading and reviewing, please! **


	3. Chapter 3

**_Author's Note: I am so sorry that updates have been so few and far between. I will be sure to try and update sooner, even though school begins again Monday. Please continue reviewing! _**

**_Blessings,_**

**_Sarah._**

_ "Miss Evans, are you sexually active?" _

The words stung at Lily's equilibrium, throwing her completely off balance.

"Urm, well, _yes_."

Madame Pomfrey nodded tensely, scribbling something with quill on a thin sheet of paper attached to a wooden clipboard.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Lily. You aren't dying; you aren't sick…Unfortunately, that means you're either gaining weight rather quickly now, or you're-"

"-pregnant," Lily tried the word on her tongue- it tasted repulsive. "Can I just have a test?"

Madame Pomfrey seemed taken aback at Lily's forwardness, but she was gently reminded that the young woman had always been spitfire; strong and independent.

"Lay back," Poppy ordered, helping to situate Lily on the bed comfortably.

Poppy waved her wand over Lily's stomach after lifting her shirt just above her swollen belly, and furrowed her eyebrows as the tip of her wand turned to dirty looking green.

"That's odd," she mumbled, fixing Lily's shirt back the proper way.

"What's odd?" Lily asked, sitting bolt up-right quickly.

"When one is pregnant, the wand tip lights green- bright green. But yours is a murky, sort of blackened green…Normally, that color is signaled at the end of a pregnancy, when the baby has less time remaining to be delivered, or when there is a complication."

Lily's head swam.

She was indeed pregnant, and that was hard enough- but something could be wrong with her child already? And how was she showing already? So many thoughts and emotions swam through her head, beckoning her to give into the worry and fear. She looked up into Madame Pomfrey's eyes and blurted out quickly: "Madame Pomfrey Remus and I only…_You know, _last night. I can't possibly be showing, or nearing the end of a pregnancy. I can't possibly have complications, I-"

"-Remus?" Poppy cut her off, her eyes falling dark.

"Yes," Lily swallowed thickly. "Remus."

Madame Pomfrey took in a sharp inhale of breath and stood, hurrying over to a cabinet filled with books speaking of old medicinal plants and other odds and ends that gave prognosis and diagnosis. Running her finger expertly over the columns pertaining to birth in non-human species, and dug her fingernail above the headline of one.

"Read that, Miss Evans."

Lily took the book nervously, closing her eyes tight before opening them, and embarking on reading the column. Poppy took a seat gingerly beside her, reading along as Lily read out loud.

**_Breeding of Dogs, Wolves, and Dog-to-Human Conception. _**

_Female dogs remain pregnant for 9 weeks, just as wolves. Human women, though, remain pregnant for 9 months, and therefore, cannot control their bodies during conception of any being with wolf or dog matter bred into them. If a human mates with a rabid person bitten by a dog, or a werewolf during or apart from full moon, their body will accept the different genes and breed just as quickly. Though this has happened to one human to date, the results were horrifying. The human body cannot process a pregnancy, the child's growth, and a birth in just 9 (or less), short weeks. The one human recorded to have endured this died during birth, and many other woman have been found mutilated in the woods, small cubs resting beside them. Though it can be assumed they were killed while giving new life, it is not sure. This is not frequently heard off since humans will not normally risk themselves for the love of dangerous or infected beings. The gestational period is so short, though, that the growing process wreaks complete havoc on the body, and after much research such a pregnancy can be assumed to be more of a death sentence to any witch or muggle._

Lily stared down at the paragraph for a long time as the words on black and white sunk in. Madame Pomfrey slid the book from her hands and closed it gingerly. Lily stared straight ahead, worried that if she moved she be sick or pass-out right there. Poppy watched her intently, waiting for her to say something, but when she didn't, Poppy began the conversation instead.

"Lily, you don't have to keep the," Poppy fished for a good word, but settled on the normal one: "_baby."_

Lily shook her head now, and glanced up at the nurse. "I can't have an abortion."

Poppy nodded tensely. "I have to suggest all of the options to any pregnant student; I knew you wouldn't. We can get you as well as possible- vitamins, supplements, etc. The pregnancy is happening fast, as you can see. Your child will be born before school is out. I will bring you in for a check-up every single week and I have a certain diet and exercise regimen I need you to stick to. I don't know much about this type of pregnancy so I will work hard to research it over the next few days and give you as much information as I can."

Lily nodded, searching the older woman's eyes for some assurance- assurance that her baby would be okay, or that she would live. But Lily knew she couldn't be provided that information. No one was promised tomorrow- especially not her.

"Why did the wand turn a deeper green?" Lily asked, worried that something was wrong with the small half-breed growing inside of her. As fearful as she was, she couldn't handle the thought of a child dying inside of her…She would rather die for her and Remus's baby.

"Because it is an irregular pregnancy, Lily. It's going to be very difficult. You need support," she responded as she grabbed Lily's hand, and it was then that Lily knew what was coming next. "I'm going to call Mr. Lupin in from class- he deserves to know, and you're going to need him now more than ever."

The warmth of Poppy's hand left Lily's as the older woman stood to go call Remus from class. As Lily watched the woman exit the room, she laid back on the bed and fought her tears away like the fierce Gryffindor she was. She was alone to her thoughts then…

And they scared her more than anything.

**Author's Note: So now you all know what is going on. How will Remus react?**

**Reviews make me update sooner! **

**Blessings,**

**Sarah**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I know this has taken awhile to updated, but I hope it was worth the wait!**

**Blessings~Sarah.**

__"Remus you haven't said one word," Lily commented, reaching out her hand to touch his shoulder.

He pushed it away more forcefully than he probably should have, and stood from where he had been sitting next to her on the bed. He remained silent, but began pacing now. Lily's heart-rate sped up.

"You have to tell me what you're feeling, Remus. You need to talk to me."

"I need to?"

Remus turned to her now, faced her, and stared deep into her eyes. When he gazed at her like this, it normally made her melt, but now it just made her uneasy. What could she say to him to fix this? She knew there was nothing that would.

"I know that you're worried, Remus, I-"

"-I don't think you do know just _how _worried I am, Lily."

Lily stood and grasped his hand. Thankfully, he didn't pull away. He simply stared down at her.

"The baby could kill you," Remus whispered. "I can't lose you."

His fear quickly turned to desperation, and tears sprung to Lily's eyes.

"Rem, please. I'm not worried about it."

"You're lying," he sulked. "You must be worried, Lily. So worried."

His hand found the side of her face and he rubbed her tears away with his thumb. His hand was shaking and Lily grasped his wrist with her fingers.

"We can get through this, Remus. I know we can."

"I'll do whatever I can, Lily. I won't let you do this alone."

Lily smiled widely and pulled Remus into a tight hug.

"I wouldn't have dreamt that I would have to do this alone. I know you'll be here, Remus."

He kissed her forehead and held her in his embrace warmly.

"This is all my fault."

"It took both of us to do this, Remus," Lily spoke fiercely. "I was just as willing as you were. We need to own up to this and take care of this child."

"First and foremost I have to take care of you, Lily," he said darkly. "I should have looked out for you from the beginning."

"You did. I promise you that I always felt looked out for."

"You still feel looked out for now that this…_animal _is growing inside of you?"

"Remus our _baby _isn't an _animal. _Neither are you! Stop it!"

Remus shook his head and took a seat on the chair that was sitting in the corner of the room.

"I told you before that we weren't right for each other. We are so incredibly different."

His voice was just above a whisper and Lily had to strain her ears to hear him, but when she words found her they felt like a stake through her heart.

"What did you just say?"

Remus cradled his head in his hands, and spoke again: "We aren't right for each other. We're too different, Lily. I'm not safe."

Lily had always prided herself in being strong. She was self confident, loving, and had a knack for making people see the best in themselves. Unfortunately, though, she struggled with making Remus feel any love for himself whatsoever. He never wanted to admit that he was worth something; that he was special. Lily had spent every waking moment trying to convince him of this; trying to make him believe that his life was just as meaningful as anyone else's. He wouldn't believe it, though. Yet, he absorbed every ounce of love and praise that Lily offered him. He embraced every second of happiness and appreciation that they spent together. He had been adapting well to the prospect of being loved, and he had even loosened up a little. His days weren't always spent in the library anymore, and he wasn't the awkward and gawky kid that had once been. He still had his quirks, and his furry little problem, but nothing that gave a sign of him being the same old introvert shown through. His stature was stronger. He had always been meek and kind, but now he was beginning to allow himself to accept the same kindness. Sometimes he believed Lily's words, and other times, he didn't. Most days after full moons he was incredibly down on himself and needed her to bring him back up. Most full moons, she couldn't even encourage him, though.

"Remus, it is a constant struggle proving my love to you," she stood fiercely beside him, pulling him to stand and face her. "I wouldn't trade a second of it, though. I love you. Please be my rock during this."

Tears were lacing her voice, straining her vocal cords and placing a large ball in the dead center of her throat. She wished he wasn't being so difficult. She wished that they weren't going through this, but they were. She was having Remus's child whether he liked it or not, and his child was the only one she had ever planned on having, anyway. It was selfish to take up pity when it was her body she had offered up; her life that was on the line. Her thoughts stopped in their tracks, though, and she choked on the tears that had been threatening to spill from her eyes.

"If I lose you, I lose everything."

He spoke the words the second she thought them. Flinging herself into his arms, she held him close and cried onto the side of his shoulder. He embraced her warmly; tightly- as always. He held nothing back from their hug, and he mustered every ounce of strength and protection that he could, into it.

"Don't leave me, Remus," Lily whispered desperately, clinging to him. "Promise me that you won't leave."

"I promise you, Lily," he took her face into his hands. "I'm not going anywhere."

For only a moment, she feared that she would be staring at his back as he walked towards the door- but he wasn't. He was with her, and he was staying with her, and suddenly everything that was so incredibly wrong felt so incredibly right.


End file.
